Hollywood and the confusing joy of living your dream.

I spent this past weekend crewing on a USC senior thesis film. I am in a class called CTPR 450: The Production and Post-Production Assistant, and one of our mandatory requirements is helping out on 1 of 4 movies being produced by the cohort a batch above us. Being the person I am, I decided this was the best time for me to explore my interest in production design. So, I have spent almost 30 hours over the past 3 days building, painting and disassembling different practical movie sets and props. Of course I never imagined that film school would be the place I finally learned how to construct and paint, but somewhere in the middle of the chaos that almost always occurs on a set, something dawned on me. I am living my dream. Yes, I was tired and hungry and I had paint on my favourite track pants and a Band-Aid around my thumb, but this is what I always wanted to do. I was in the best place I could be, surrounded by other people with the same passion as me, actively trying to chase down my dreams. Nothing exemplifies this more than watching the 2020 Oscars on a sound stage while entering my 6^th hour of shed building. It dawned on me then how lucky I was to be here and how privileged I was that my parents were willing to support a career in the arts. I had gone from waking up at 6 am just so I could watch the opening monologue and the first few award presentations before school, to watching the Academy Awards surrounded by other film kids who got as excited about movies as I did. Hollywood just used to be my Club Penguin name (or rather Hollywood six thousand and something). Now I live here. Since I was 10 years old I’ve wanted to work in the film industry. I can’t believe I already have. 

These past few years a lot has changed. I’ve learned so much and met so many great people but I’ve also contemplated a lot. I’ve questioned my future on this career path. I’ve questioned if I belong where I am and I’ve had days where I’ve questioned everything about myself and everything I thought I wanted to be. Many days are hectic and chaotic and stressful and I’m sure I’m still going to constantly ponder my future, but moments like today remind me why I wanted to be here in the first place. I was the quirky film kid in high school. Now I go to a school for quirky film kids. That in itself makes me smile. 

The pin I wanted to highlight today is fairly new. I got it this semester when I went to Universal Studios with my father. It’s a fun one. I like the design and it seems to be well made. The rubber safety clasp at the back is shaped like a star, which is a refreshing break from the norm. And it says Hollywood on it. Ten-year-old Aman would be over the moon if he saw it. It’s been a confusing few years. I’ve loved a lot of what I’ve done. I’ve also had days where I thought film wasn’t for me. Today made my passion for the world of cinema burn bright. It gave me immense joy. I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. I wear this pin to remind me of the joy, even when life becomes more confusing than usual. 

Just for fun: I will leave you today with my yearbook quote: “You live in the real world, I live in the reel world.” I told you. Quirky film kid.