USC x Superman, my wisdom tooth and dreams that transform us.

This past Friday, I felt a dull pain on the left side of my jaw. Eventually, the left side of my face began to swell up and the pain went from dull to almost unbearable. My wisdom tooth, you see, had decided that this was it’s time to burst out of my gums. I was supposed to have my wisdom teeth removed last summer, and right now I really wish I had. Back then the pain had gone away. What’s the point in wasting one of my last weekends at home recovering, I thought, especially when everything felt fine. I rationalized it by claiming that i’d be putting myself through more pain, for absolutely no reason. Worst case, I could always go to the dentist, right? It’s not like the world is shutting down anytime soon! On my 16^th day of home quarantine during a complete lockdown in my country, I’ve spent my time cursing the Aman from the summer of 2019.

In all honesty, this entire year really hasn’t felt like it was going my way. Between my breakup, the health of my grandparents, the fact that we’re literally in the midst of a global pandemic and now my wisdom tooth, along with a host of other small things, everything feels a bit shit sometimes. It’s becoming much harder to believe myself when I sing along to All Time Low. “Maybe its not my weekend, but it’s going to be my year.” Quarter of a way in, this feels more and more unlikely. 

A lot of you are probably wondering what this has to do with my USC Superman pin. You see, for as long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with superheroes. My favorite TV show growing up was The Justice League Animated Series. When I turned 4, I had a ‘Batman’ themed birthday party, complete with costumes and a guest appearance by ‘the caped crusader’ himself. My rooms (both in LA and Mumbai) are populated with superhero paraphernalia and my favorite movies are The Dark Knight and The Lego movie. Till today, I am excited by anything remotely related to superheroes. While one might wonder why an almost 21 year old man is obsessed with grown men who dress up in tights and run around their cities, to me the answer is clear. More than just being entertaining, these characters inspire me. Heroes with red capes and masks reflect the hope the world needs. In 1938, at the brink of a world war, the world needed to be inspired and Superman flew into our pages. A blue streak made an entire generation feel safe. 82 years later that blue streak still inspires a lot of us.

While I haven’t done much during this lockdown, I have had a lot of time to reflect. In 2016 I wrote my common app essay on Superheroes and how they inspired me to overcome my insecurities related to all the failures I had experienced. I ended it by writing, “now while the world may only see a chubby brown-skinned boy with glasses, I see the super suit under my clothes. Like the best heroes, my adversary made me special. I became my very own Superman.” This is true. I get that I am just regular, I get that I am just one of the people who needs to be saved. God knows I’m not a Boy Wonder. Still, just believing that maybe I could have a superpower made it a little bit easier to face everything that had been holding me down. It’s a strange way to deal with my mental health, I know, but it helped me, and isn’t that good enough.

In my essay I acknowledged that my “villains” would return from time to time. As you know, 2020 has felt like they’ve all decided to team up. But instead of whining and wallowing in my first world problems (like I have done so far this essay) I’ve decided to put on my metaphorical spandex and face them head on. It’s not going to be an easy battle, it’s going to take time, but its worth fighting for. Superman once said, “dreams save us, dreams lift us up and transform us.” Today I’m choosing to dream that I can fight my demons. Hopefully it’ll help me rise above them.

Most people will agree that these past few weeks have been the strangest of our lives as a collective. I don’t think the entire world has been affected like this since the last world war. We’re fighting something we can’t see. The entire natural order has been upended, and we could have never truly planned for how large this epidemic has become. In these tough times, I implore you. Don’t lose hope. Keep fighting. Keep dreaming. Find your superheroes. Find something that gives you the strength to fight through this. Believe that it gets better. We have a tough few months ahead of us. I truly hope we can contain the effects of the virus. I understand how difficult this is going to be, but never forget that we have to come out on the other side. Whatever happens, the word will keep spinning. Time will keep moving. Eventually we have to get to better. Stay strong. Stay safe. Believe that you can beat these demons. We already have real life superheroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday to help others. Why can’t you be one too?

The pin I’m choosing to highlight today is one I really love. I bought it last year at the LA Times “Festival of Books” on campus. It’s an icon I’ve loved since I first saw it, so when I stumbled across this at a small stall full of comic book merchandise, I had to get it. It’s really well made. The paint job looks great and it has burgundy faux-leather accents which I think is really cool. It also has two pins on the back, which make it extra secure. While it obviously represents my love for superheroes, there is another paradigm it showcases. Since this is probably my last post on the blog, at least for a little while, I think this is the perfect time to acknowledge something else that all my pins are going to represent. Whatever happens in our Writ 340 class, my pins will always be connected to this blog and the course as a whole. Every time I wear a pin or buy a pin in the future, I am going to think about how it fits into the narrative of my blog. I am always going to associate this collection with all of you. This assignment has allowed me not only to take stock of what my possessions mean to me, but also to reflect on parts of myself I have been afraid to address. I am constantly learning, growing and fighting, and even over the course of these past three months I have changed more than I could have ever imagined. Therefore, I wear this pin to remind me to keep hoping, to inspire me to keep having transformational dreams. I also wear this pin to celebrate the fond memories I have of this class, grateful that I was able to not only make something I was proud of,  but also something that helped me learn more about myself. 

Thank you for reading. Never forget, it’s always pin the story.